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6 Simple Steps To Overcoming Shyness

Hands up if you are shy …

Oh … sorry, you’re shy like I was so you won’t put your hand up will you?

To be honest, everyone is shy in one form or another.  I can remember watching a hypnosis demonstration a few years back.  It was a man who was a complete maniac on skis.  He used to go down the black runs on the slopes and seek out the hardest slopes to ski down; slopes that you and I would consider suicide.

Here was a man who was, in my opinion, incredibly confident and not in the least bit shy.  However, put this man with a woman and ask him to talk to her and he’d turn into a gibbering wreck!  Seriously!

This goes to show you how someone can be supremely confident in one area of their life yet as shy as anything in others.  If you are too shy, then it can have a detrimental effect on your life, both socially and professionally.

So how can you overcome your shyness?

Tip 1 : Desire

You have to have the desire to overcome your shyness before you can do anything about it.  I know this sounds blindingly obvious to you, but a lot of people are pushed into changing by the people around them, which is never the best of reasons to change.

Action Advice – Make a decision to become less shy

Tip 2 : Act

If you’ve ever watched the TV or seen a movie you will see people acting. These people portray emotions and feelings that they are not feeling at the time, yet they project these emotions in a very convincing manner.

By pretending that you are confident and not at all shy, you will find that you aren’t shy!  And best of all, after a while you will actually discover you are no longer shy and are a much more confident person!

Action Advice – Next time you are in a situation where you would have been shy in the past, act as if you are confident

Tip 3 : Self-Knowledge

How you are now is due to how you were in the past.  Knowing yourself allows you to recognize these past causes of shyness and through this knowledge, you can let it go.

Be honest with yourself and find out the reasons for your shyness.  Is it something to do with your physical appearance?  Something to do with your voice? Something in your mind?

Whatever it is, root it out and be honest – the only person you will be cheating here is yourself.

Action Advice – Honestly look to yourself and see why you are shy.

Tip 4 – Eye Contact

Practice making and maintaining eye contact with people.  Look at them and smile too.  This demonstrates your confidence to them and helps you to feel less shy.

If you really can’t look in their eyes just yet, then focus on the point in between their eyes or just above their eyes, it’s close enough!

Action Advice – Look people in the eye and show them you’re confident.

Tip 5 – Know No Fear

A significant part of shyness is fear of rejection.  In your head you imagine all sorts of terrible things happening when you meet people that make you feel bad, usually based on something real / imagined in the past.  Don’t worry about this, we all do it.

If you can stop dwelling on rejection and start to focus on more positive things about these situations then you will find you are less shy.

Action Advice – Focus on the positive aspects of social situations and the good things that will happen to you

Tip 6 – Be Less Critical

Many shy people are extremely self critical.  They believe they have to look good, act in a certain way or be something they are not.

Try your best to be less critical of yourself.  Start to be your own biggest fan and praise yourself.

Action Advice – Become your own fan club and cheer yourself on all the time.

These six tips will help you to become a more confident person.  Yes you will yo-yo at least initially between shyness and confidence, but with practice and consistency you will be less shy.

Jason E Johns is a personal success coach and author of the No More Shyness audio book.  Learn how you can be a more confident person through these simple yet effective strategies.  Visit for more information today.

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