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Fear Of Losing A Friend Or Loved One

How to deal with the fear of losing someone

Jennifer woke up in a sweat, with the memories of last night's dream still fresh and surreal.  She was having those darned nightmares again.  But those nightmares could not have been mere nightmares because they were haunting her even during her waking hours.

This one was like all the other dreams where she was running after a familiar person who would later on fall from a deep ravine.  And in all dreams, she was the one hero who was doing everything to save the same person from falling.  The funny thing is, she could not see his face.

Psychologists would interpret Jennifer's dream as something which speaks of her inner fears in life.  One such fear which came out in the open was her fear of losing people near to her, people whom she loves dearly.

The fear of losing someone you love is normal for most people.  This stems from your fear of being alone in this world and your fear of not being able to bear the thought of being the one who was left behind.

Thinking about the possibility of losing someone you love is devastating, not to mention hurtful.  You may have invested too much of your time and feelings for that person and so just the thought of losing that person would leave you in a state of panic.

There are different categories of people with whom a person can have deep affections.  The fear of losing any one of these people can be traumatic for a person, especially if he or she has just experienced a heavy loss, like divorce or death of a loved one.  

A person can fear losing his spouse, his parents, his children, his relatives, his friends, or any person who is close to his heart.  This fear can be caused or influenced by several factors such as:

1. Divorce or separation - A person who recently went through divorce or separation proceedings can easily be haunted by separation anxiety due to the stress accompanied by the divorce process.  It is not easy for a person to live with a spouse for a period of time and to separate with that person.  Divorce proceedings are usually hostile and confrontational so such proceedings will always leave a bad taste in the mouth. In the same manner, a person who is about to undergo a divorce or separation will also be subjected to stress.

2. Empty nest - A fulltime mother can easily feel depressed when she realizes her children are growing up and are slowly becoming independent.  This anxiety stems from the thought that for several years, she was needed by her children and now that they can manage on their own, then she will no longer be needed and useful.  A mother who experienced this fear of losing her children should try to immerse herself back into society by finding a business or a useful hobby that will keep her occupied.  The feeling of uselessness is natural but you have to find a way to combat this fear by making yourself useful in some other ways.  Also, why not look at the situation in another way?  Why not accept the fact that you have reared your children so well and that you have prepared them to live their own lives?   And now, it is time for them to try to walk alone without mommy's help.

3. Death in the family - A death in the family or in your circle of friends will always make a person realize how fleeting life can be.  This realization will manifest itself into the fear of losing someone you love due to illness or sudden death.  Death is inevitable and it would do you good to make time for people you love.  If you are already spending enough time with them, then you can always improve the quality of time you spend with your loved ones. 

 The fear of losing a loved one is always in existence.  One can never get away from this fear because there are situations that will make a person think of the possibility of being separated from the people they love.  But the possibility of losing someone is one of life's facts and no one can prevent his from happening. 

However, one can always soften the blow of being left behind by preparing for such an eventuality.

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(c) 2007 Jason E. Johns - how to build self confidence