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Changing Your Self Talk

Change Your Self-Talk For a Better Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is one’s belief in oneself. It refers to one’s confidence in his actions, beliefs and competencies. Having self-confidence is the key towards a successful and fulfilling life.

Self-talk can be described as that little voice inside one’s head which can either be beneficial or detrimental to one’s self-confidence. This inner voice usually critiques, give comments, or praise one’s deeds and actions.

There are different views about self-talk in relation to building self-confidence. Some people may associate self-talk to the obstacles towards attaining true confidence in oneself. This can be true in the cases of people who have no drive to take the pessimism out of their heads. This can later become a vicious cycle where a person is perpetually trapped in a downward spiral of self-esteem decline.

There is also a school of thought which believes that self-talk is an important tool in developing self-confidence. The inner voice can be seen as a teacher, a mentor, a critique who gives constructive comments and a friend. Self-talk has been employed by successful people in their careers in fields such as sports and show business.

Here are some few helpful tips on how to utilize self-talk towards developing a healthy self-confidence:

1) Listen to your inner voice
This is the first step in making good use of self-talk. Identify the inner voice in you and listen to what it is saying. Ask questions like, regarding the contents of the thoughts, the situations which brought about these thoughts and the other factors which could have aggravated the situation.

Remember that this is to be done under the general goal of building self-confidence, so try to be as honest as possible.


2) Thoughts Assessment
After the thoughts have been identified, it is time to assess them. What are these thoughts saying in general? What attitude towards the self is being projected by these thoughts? How have I responded to these kinds of thoughts in the past? What have these kinds of thoughts instilled in me throughout the years? Have they been helpful to me and my quest towards self-confidence?

Another important thing to assess is the way a person responds to the thoughts that are being said by the inner voice. A person might think that negative thoughts are empowering and that they give the much needed push to attain one’s goals. Negative thoughts and comments can be helpful in the short run; however, they do more damage than good. Negative thoughts instill a general feeling of hopelessness and incompetence, especially if one fails more than once in a certain endeavor. Viewing life in a positive light is the way towards building self-confidence. When a person stumbles down, the inner voice should say “stand up, you can do it!” rather than “you’re pathetic, stay down before you hurt yourself again!”

The general tone of the inner voice is as important as what it is saying. Negative tones should be controlled and be reversed into positive ones.

 

3) Make a difference
Dealing with one’s inner voice can be a daunting task. If it’s hard to talk to somebody who wouldn’t listen, it’s even harder to talk and listen to oneself since there can be no sensible argument that could happen.

Getting rid of the negative thoughts inside one’s head will give the positive thoughts some space. It is all about rephrasing the negative thoughts to make them positive. One’s concept of the world is based on his views of the world. You develop self-confidence by feeling good about yourself. The inner voice should not have control of the body it is the person who should have control over the inner voice.

Self-confidence is like a pair of eyeglasses, having the right pair can make one enjoy the beauty of things to the fullest. Life, if one truly looks at it, is all about perception. One will never enjoy life if he perceives it with much negativity. This is also true in terms of viewing oneself. Self-confidence is tied to having true happiness. True happiness can only come from within a person’s heart and believing in oneself is the only way to achieve happiness.

 

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(c) 2007 Jason E. Johns - how to build self confidence